| [004.] Oh No You Didn't! |
[28 Aug 2008|03:00pm] |
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Climbing The Walls-Backstreet Boys |
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Allen and I have noticed lately that we can be pretty predictable. At first this scared me as I didn't want to suffer the fate of being predictable, (old) and boring in life. I like to have fun and make sure others are enjoying themselves. But I've been a mother for the past year and a half, and what really feels like ten years. It's ok to have a little fun here and there but it's irresponsible to be completely unpredictable and never have a schedule for you and your children. After thinking about how much trouble my kids would be in if we didn't have a consistency in daily activities I didn't feel bad for being predictable. Just means my kids are always clean, fed, watched over and entertained. The most important things in my life aside from their health but no matter what we do they're always going to catch a cold, an ear ache, or a tummy ache. That's when you have to do your best at making them feel comfortable until they're better. No matter how predictable we may be I know we're happy and couldn't be happier. There's no feeling that can compare to having a family that loves you unconditionally. While I was working for the WWE the subject came up a few times about how old I was going to be to have kids and what I was missing out on. However I knew that to be the best mother I could be that I had to wait till I had completed some adventures in life. I think I made the right decision because now I wake up everyday with the love of my life holding on to me, see my babies sleeping peacefully, make breakfast and get to see them start the day. Sometimes I have to leave but it's never for more than a few days and I know they're in great care with Dad or Allen's parents. The newer parents will know the feeling soon enough and when it hurts to leave them just remember that they are taken care of, they're thinking of you, and when they see you again you'll make their day. For every negative to parenting, there's a thousand things that make up for it.
I hope the same thing will go for my parents. I miss my mom, I miss my dad. If there's one thing that pains me about my family it's that my parents aren't a part of it by their own choice. My babies are my world and my parents have never met them. I usually don't talk about it and act like nothing happened but Allen knows me better and wants to try and make things better between us. I hope Allen sees that while it hurts, and I'm scared about if they'll show up next week or not that I really want this to happen. I pray and pray and pray that my mom and dad have opened their eyes and realized that Ron and I are done and there's no chance we're getting back together. That the 'silly romance that would be over by Thursday' lasted more than a year and will continue and be stronger than ever when Allen and I meet up in heaven. It is possible to find love after a divorce and my life shouldn't be over just because of it. In fact my life started the day I met Allen. My life with him has been more fulfilling and rewarding than anything else I've done. If my parents stand us up next week I can live with it. I hope they show up and accept our peace offering though. I'm putting most of my faith in that they will but I know there's a big chance they still wont want anything to do with Allen, Ajay and Avery. If that's the case? Fuck them. If you want your daughter, and to know your grandchildren by blood then you have to accept the other half of her family that came from a previous marriage. I've said it before, they're my parents and I love them but if they make me pick between them and my family I will pick my family every time. Lets pray that it doesn't come to that.
I'll keep this relatively short as I know a number of you are lazy and run when anything is more than three paragraphs. Besides I have to go back to cleaning while the little ones nap.
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[27 Aug 2008|10:08pm] |
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[26 Aug 2008|05:46pm] |
I've put this off long enough so it's way past time that I break the cherry on this thing. Okay that was probably the wrong way to put it, but that isn't important right now anyways. What is important is that I get this thing updated before Mickie decides to kick my butt to the curb and start anew, and I just really...REALLY don't think I can or want to deal with that. These last few months have been really great with her. Never in a million years would I have ever imagined that there would be someone other than Jessica, and here just a few months later Mickie and I are doing great together. Who woulda thought that on my first trip to perform for the troops would've set the wheels into motion for what I have now with her.
Work has been..well I can't say I enjoy the thing with me hitting Rebecca, but it has created some immense heat for this angle, and according to JR it's made me the new heat magnet now that Adam is out for the time being. Working with Shawn has always been a pleasure and honor, and this time is no different. I don't think I've ever been as apologetic as I have been the last two weeks anytime I've been able to get ahold of Shawn, polar opposite as to what they've had me saying on tv. I'm fully expecting that slip at Summerslam to end up with a nice receipt come the match at Unforgiven, it's happened before and I expect it to happen again. I actually deserve it this time around.
As I said before, things with Mickie have been great. As she's mentioned she was there when we had a birthday party for the twins, I can only imagine how awkward it was for her to be there with Jessica, both of our families there and I introduced her as the new woman in my life. It'll take a while for everyone to warm up to the idea that I'm moving on. Jessica? Well I expect hell to frost over before she warms up to it..especially when the new woman in my life is nine-years youngers than me. The kids all really seem to like her. Ash hangs around with her as much as he can when she's around, and the twins seem to be comfortable around her. It's quite a relief knowing that she's so good with the kids.
Anyways, it's about time that I wrap this up I think it's safe to say that this was a lot better than I expected it to be. Not so painless afterall.
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[25 Aug 2008|02:33pm] |
hello all.
I'm sure that a few people (ok maybe just Trish) might've been waiting to see this post, so I apologize for its latenes. Last weekend..hell, last week has been a very long one for me and the family. Summerslam was such an emotional rollercoaster. Shawn had peptalked me before we went out and it was just so much to take in. The fans, the lights..everything. And then he started talking and i got all upset and started to cry a little bit in the ring, i'm such a girl haha. Everything between Chris and Shawn happened so quick, it was such a blur..and then it happened. That punch hit me with so much force..I watched it when we got home, and all I could see was my knees give out from under me. In the ring, i think i blacked out for a few seconds because i couldn't remember actually falling and it went straight from the hit to Shawn over me, rubbing my cheek.
When Shawn and the referees were helping me out of the ring, all i could think of was how odd my face felt and that my babies were at home, so excited to see mommy and daddy on tv together at the same time and now they just watched their mama get punched; i felt incredibly guilty after that. My kids were at home probably very upset and it was my fault for agreeing to go and partake in it all. I didn't get to see my face until we got backstage and I got checked out. i was expecting both my lips to be swollen. it didn't hurt too much at that point because my face was kind of numb. They gave me an anti-inflamatory to try to help with the swelling. The swelling was still the last thing i was thinking about. I just wanted to see and hold my kids. When we got home late Sunday night, the kids were already in bed. Shawns mother sat us down and told us how the kids had reacted. Cameron took it better, obviously, than Cheyenne would, but he was still visibly disturbed by it. Cheyenne, poor thing, started crying so hard, Shawn's father had to take her out of the room. When she told me that, I started bawling..and then i felt like the worse mom in the world all over again. Shawn was holding my hand; he felt really bad as well. He feels that he should'vbe never considered the idea and told me about it and then none of this would've ever happened.
i know that chris never intentionally mean't to hit me as hard as he did. it was a freak accident, a miscalculation..ANYTHING but intentional. I have no hard feelings towards him. I know alot of wrestling sites are saying that i have a fractured jaw and all this other stuff, but I'm not really allowed to comment on that right now. But i will say that i'm home with my family and we're taking each day as it comes.
Hope this post finds everyone in good health and good spirits.
-Rebecca
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[16 Aug 2008|01:11am] |
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i need a hiatus. I'm moving half way across the country tomorrow and I'm not entirely sure when I'll have internet just yet.
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